The Power and Privilege of Procreation
Now that we have a better grasp on the covenant marriage and why we should make deliberate and constant effort to protect it, let's discuss one of the holiest callings and privileges that accompanies marriage: Procreation! Not only is parenthood a privilege which offers one of the greatest sources of joy available, but it is also the duty and responsibility of husband and wife. Upon being placed in the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve were commanded to multiply and replenish the earth - and have happiness!" This same law applies today and is reiterated in The Family: A Proclamation to the World.
When we participate in procreation and the raising of children, we become partners with God. In using the powers he has given us and doing what He has done, we can see a glimpse of the incomprehensible love He has for each of us. Chapter 10 of Successful Marriages and Families states: "In the course of teaching and nurturing children in a family setting, parents can learn and grow by practicing godly virtues." The term godly virtues seems like a stretch when I consider my imperfect parenting, but what parent has ever felt truly qualified for the task? Thankfully, we know that whom the Lord calls the Lord qualifies. When we strive to use this God-given power, we will not only come to understand more about Him through our ability to do things He has and continues to do, but we will find that He is mindful of us and mercifully eager to enhance our abilities for the betterment of our children and family as a whole.
One of the first things we can do to fulfill our role as parents is to recognize that we came to earth with pre-existent character traits and talents. President Joseph F. Smith, in a 1912 First Presidency statement, said, "Notwithstanding this fact that our recollection of former things was taken away, the character of our lives in the spirit world has much to do with our disposition, desires and mentality here in mortal life." Bruce R. McConkie, on the same topic, said this: "...all the spirits of men, while yet in the Eternal Presence, developed aptitudes, talents, capacities, and abilities of every sort, kind, and degree. During the long expanse of life which then was, an infinite variety of talents and abilities came into being."
Recognizing the careful, conscious care Heavenly Father took when creating each of us should encourage us to embrace and foster our children's different personalities and temperaments. Having this knowledge should also give us greater patience when said personalities and temperaments challenge us. We should work to help our children use these traits to draw closer to their Savior and help others do the same.
Some other things we should do to parent with "godly virtues," according to Chapter 10 of Successful Marriages and Families, include but are not limited to the following:
1) Rear in Love with an emphasis on gentleness, charity, and long-suffering. When it comes to discipline, exercise firmness but also warmth. Chapter 10, under this topic of rearing in love, talks about utilizing the authoritarian parenting style, which encompasses the above-mentioned traits as well as these: listening with real intent, offering clear and reasonable expectations, setting limits and boundaries with room for negotiation, reasoning and developmentally appropriate consequences and punishments for breaching established limits, and avoiding hostile forms of discipline. Just as each individual child comes to earth with a set of traits, they too come with individual needs. Brigham Young suggested that parents "study their [children's] dispositions and their temperaments, and deal with them accordingly." In other words, we should rear in love utilizing these traits but according to the needs of our individual children.
2) Set Limits and regulations. Discipline is a necessary aspect of parenting but "should be motivated by a sincere interest in teaching children correct principles rather than merely to exert control, exercise dominion, or vent anger." Parents should also set clear boundaries, expectations, and consequences for misbehavior that are age-appropriate and on a level that the child can grasp. While this may not be the most fun aspect of parenting, it is a crucial teacher in a child's upbringing. As with all aspects of parenting, however, when poor behavior strikes and must be addressed, parents should handle it appropriately while then, as D&C 121:43 says, "showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved." When we seek guidance from above while doing our part to fulfill the needs of our children, we can claim heavenly guidance and blessings to help see us through.
3) Latitude and autonomy. Providing children with autonomy means allowing them some freedom to explore and gain experiences that will help promote independent thinking and more. A difference of opinion between child and parent should be respected (with the exception of inappropriate or harmful opinions, in which case the parent should step in and talk with the child). As the text says, "Authoritative parents teach with warmth and responsiveness, which allows a give-and-take relationship with their children. Differences are respected and valued. Parental communication is open and nonjudgmental, with more emphasis on listening to understand rather than on talking."
Why do we work so hard at such a challenging, often thankless job? It's because we see beyond this life with faith-filled eyes something greater and worth working toward. Here is a wonderful quote by President Gordon B. Hinckley, in closing, which perfectly completes the topic of procreation.
"Of all the joys of life, none other equals that of happy parenthood. Of all the responsibilities with which we struggle, none other is so serious. To rear children in an atmosphere of love, security, and faith is the most rewarding of all challenges. The good result from such efforts become life's more satisfying compensation."
As we try we will inevitably fail at times, but we can always rely on our loving Heavenly Father who also made us individually and with a purpose. He knows our hearts and loves us in a way we cannot even comprehend. He wants us to succeed and will do what he can to help us, as long as we are striving to help ourselves.
When we participate in procreation and the raising of children, we become partners with God. In using the powers he has given us and doing what He has done, we can see a glimpse of the incomprehensible love He has for each of us. Chapter 10 of Successful Marriages and Families states: "In the course of teaching and nurturing children in a family setting, parents can learn and grow by practicing godly virtues." The term godly virtues seems like a stretch when I consider my imperfect parenting, but what parent has ever felt truly qualified for the task? Thankfully, we know that whom the Lord calls the Lord qualifies. When we strive to use this God-given power, we will not only come to understand more about Him through our ability to do things He has and continues to do, but we will find that He is mindful of us and mercifully eager to enhance our abilities for the betterment of our children and family as a whole.
One of the first things we can do to fulfill our role as parents is to recognize that we came to earth with pre-existent character traits and talents. President Joseph F. Smith, in a 1912 First Presidency statement, said, "Notwithstanding this fact that our recollection of former things was taken away, the character of our lives in the spirit world has much to do with our disposition, desires and mentality here in mortal life." Bruce R. McConkie, on the same topic, said this: "...all the spirits of men, while yet in the Eternal Presence, developed aptitudes, talents, capacities, and abilities of every sort, kind, and degree. During the long expanse of life which then was, an infinite variety of talents and abilities came into being."
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| Source: ldsliving.com |
Some other things we should do to parent with "godly virtues," according to Chapter 10 of Successful Marriages and Families, include but are not limited to the following:
1) Rear in Love with an emphasis on gentleness, charity, and long-suffering. When it comes to discipline, exercise firmness but also warmth. Chapter 10, under this topic of rearing in love, talks about utilizing the authoritarian parenting style, which encompasses the above-mentioned traits as well as these: listening with real intent, offering clear and reasonable expectations, setting limits and boundaries with room for negotiation, reasoning and developmentally appropriate consequences and punishments for breaching established limits, and avoiding hostile forms of discipline. Just as each individual child comes to earth with a set of traits, they too come with individual needs. Brigham Young suggested that parents "study their [children's] dispositions and their temperaments, and deal with them accordingly." In other words, we should rear in love utilizing these traits but according to the needs of our individual children.
2) Set Limits and regulations. Discipline is a necessary aspect of parenting but "should be motivated by a sincere interest in teaching children correct principles rather than merely to exert control, exercise dominion, or vent anger." Parents should also set clear boundaries, expectations, and consequences for misbehavior that are age-appropriate and on a level that the child can grasp. While this may not be the most fun aspect of parenting, it is a crucial teacher in a child's upbringing. As with all aspects of parenting, however, when poor behavior strikes and must be addressed, parents should handle it appropriately while then, as D&C 121:43 says, "showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved." When we seek guidance from above while doing our part to fulfill the needs of our children, we can claim heavenly guidance and blessings to help see us through.
3) Latitude and autonomy. Providing children with autonomy means allowing them some freedom to explore and gain experiences that will help promote independent thinking and more. A difference of opinion between child and parent should be respected (with the exception of inappropriate or harmful opinions, in which case the parent should step in and talk with the child). As the text says, "Authoritative parents teach with warmth and responsiveness, which allows a give-and-take relationship with their children. Differences are respected and valued. Parental communication is open and nonjudgmental, with more emphasis on listening to understand rather than on talking."
Why do we work so hard at such a challenging, often thankless job? It's because we see beyond this life with faith-filled eyes something greater and worth working toward. Here is a wonderful quote by President Gordon B. Hinckley, in closing, which perfectly completes the topic of procreation.
"Of all the joys of life, none other equals that of happy parenthood. Of all the responsibilities with which we struggle, none other is so serious. To rear children in an atmosphere of love, security, and faith is the most rewarding of all challenges. The good result from such efforts become life's more satisfying compensation."
As we try we will inevitably fail at times, but we can always rely on our loving Heavenly Father who also made us individually and with a purpose. He knows our hearts and loves us in a way we cannot even comprehend. He wants us to succeed and will do what he can to help us, as long as we are striving to help ourselves.
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