Family Work
I have to chuckle. Chapter 21 of Successful Marriages and Families, which discusses family work, begins with this both hilarious and gut-wrenching explanation to which I can relate all too well:
"One day a week we deep clean the house together. My parents divide us into teams. We hate this. They force us to work together. We get along much better when we aren't working so closely together. Usually it ends up in a yelling match, then my parents freak out. My mom starts crying because we aren't getting along, and therefore we aren't righteous enough and she's failed as a mother. Then my dad gets upset because Mom is upset. The result: We are forced to spend more time with each other to prepare us for eternal life as a family. Cleaning the house is a miserable experience for everyone."
I'd be lying if I said there aren't days when I just go ahead and do a task my children are perfectly capable of to avoid the drama and bickering that would ensue over anything and everything relating to said task. My husband and I joke that they are in a constant race to see which one can start an argument faster. I don't recall having the same troubles with my brother when we were kids, though he is eight years older. I do however remember hating chores and resisting them. I feel terrible now, knowing how capable I was and how hard my parents worked to provide for my brother and me. Being able to recall my childhood perspective of work along with my now-adult perspective helps me have a little more patience for my children. I fully recognize that much of what we have to do is monotonous, repetitive, and, as the text describes: prosaic (p. 214); but it's also necessary. Not only does having a clean space feel better for everyone, but it is also in completing these tasks together that we learn valuable life lessons and grow to develop bonds with our family.
Despite the everyday tasks such as loading and unloading the dishwasher, sweeping the floors, wiping the counters, and taking out the garbage, seeming dull and meaningless, they are far from it. Nephi reminded us that "by small means the Lord can bring about great things" (1 Nephi 16:29). And Elder Neal A. Maxwell said this: "We must look carefully, therefore, not only at life's large defining moments but also at the seemingly small moments. Even small acts and brief conversations count, if only incrementally, in the constant shaping of our souls" (Successful Marriages and Families, p. 214).
This concept of small transforming into big extends beyond boring old housework. What it really boils down to is developing habits, such as getting up every Saturday morning to tackle the bathroom before starting your day, or reading your scriptures every night before turning out the light. These habits aren't just magically formed when we become adults. They are formed through the simple daily decisions we make to do them. Thus, small acts eventually become big habits.
In a world of convenience and ease, it is important that we not lose sight of the value of work. Adam and Eve started out in the Garden of Eden where not much was required and everything was provided. When they were cast out, however, their lifestyle drastically changed and their survival suddenly depended on their hard work (Genesis 3:19). Just as there must be opposition in all things, it is not living in comfort and ease where we develop Christ-like attributes. It is in working through and enduring the everyday as well as the more debilitating challenges of life.
"The daily rituals of family work are the Lord's gift and blessing to all people and cultures, providing daily opportunities for parents to each while working alongside their children, for husbands to draw closer to their wives, and for siblings to bond while they work together to serve the family. Daily rituals ... are the invisible glue that can bind families together" (Strengthening Marriage and Families, p. 223).
We are fortunate to have loved ones on this earth to work alongside. May we remember that working is a privilege and journey through which we can grow and build everlasting bonds.
"One day a week we deep clean the house together. My parents divide us into teams. We hate this. They force us to work together. We get along much better when we aren't working so closely together. Usually it ends up in a yelling match, then my parents freak out. My mom starts crying because we aren't getting along, and therefore we aren't righteous enough and she's failed as a mother. Then my dad gets upset because Mom is upset. The result: We are forced to spend more time with each other to prepare us for eternal life as a family. Cleaning the house is a miserable experience for everyone."
I'd be lying if I said there aren't days when I just go ahead and do a task my children are perfectly capable of to avoid the drama and bickering that would ensue over anything and everything relating to said task. My husband and I joke that they are in a constant race to see which one can start an argument faster. I don't recall having the same troubles with my brother when we were kids, though he is eight years older. I do however remember hating chores and resisting them. I feel terrible now, knowing how capable I was and how hard my parents worked to provide for my brother and me. Being able to recall my childhood perspective of work along with my now-adult perspective helps me have a little more patience for my children. I fully recognize that much of what we have to do is monotonous, repetitive, and, as the text describes: prosaic (p. 214); but it's also necessary. Not only does having a clean space feel better for everyone, but it is also in completing these tasks together that we learn valuable life lessons and grow to develop bonds with our family.
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| Source: https://www.onehappydog.com/small-things-are-big-things/ |
This concept of small transforming into big extends beyond boring old housework. What it really boils down to is developing habits, such as getting up every Saturday morning to tackle the bathroom before starting your day, or reading your scriptures every night before turning out the light. These habits aren't just magically formed when we become adults. They are formed through the simple daily decisions we make to do them. Thus, small acts eventually become big habits.
In a world of convenience and ease, it is important that we not lose sight of the value of work. Adam and Eve started out in the Garden of Eden where not much was required and everything was provided. When they were cast out, however, their lifestyle drastically changed and their survival suddenly depended on their hard work (Genesis 3:19). Just as there must be opposition in all things, it is not living in comfort and ease where we develop Christ-like attributes. It is in working through and enduring the everyday as well as the more debilitating challenges of life.
"The daily rituals of family work are the Lord's gift and blessing to all people and cultures, providing daily opportunities for parents to each while working alongside their children, for husbands to draw closer to their wives, and for siblings to bond while they work together to serve the family. Daily rituals ... are the invisible glue that can bind families together" (Strengthening Marriage and Families, p. 223).
We are fortunate to have loved ones on this earth to work alongside. May we remember that working is a privilege and journey through which we can grow and build everlasting bonds.
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